What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why do Brits drive a lot more dangerously compared to Americans? Is there just no courtesy when driving in the UK?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What is the original source of the discord between Princes Harry and William? Does it go back to their childhood, or did it start with Meghan Markle?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Do happily married husbands cheat?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

What is your wildest experience in Bangalore that you haven’t told anyone?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Have you ever witnessed a remote beach show where hundreds of turtles crawling to the water?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Were you ever in love with your teacher?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

What can I do after 18 cops raided my home, without a warrant, seeking a person who didn't live there and wasn't there, and also went through all of my stuff? The person wasn't on the lease, and they didn't see him enter.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why is my crush beautiful to me but not to others?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Liberals, why don't you like Conservatives?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

TEXT:

Why is squid ink safe to eat, while skunk spray is not? What makes the two liquids different from each other?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What is the process of becoming an Evangelical preacher? Is attending seminary school necessary? How long does it typically take? Is it financially challenging?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!